the straight-away

This is it, the straight away that is so familiar. This is the last week of classes of my first semester of my post grad. So many times I have gotten to this final week. This is when the anxiety slowly start to lift just before it crushes you with Christmas shopping. As the year comes to an end, ill take a quick second to turn around and look back on my year. I have been known to get down on my self in the past about how little i've accomplished with my 30 years and the holidays for me is a great reminder to just take a little time to look back at the past year and try to pin point all the high and low points. School seems to be almost elusive to me, I want to do well but before long that turns into good enough which again wains to just a pass by the end of the semester. Why is it I wonder that we go in with such high intentions then fall off so abruptly.  Is it the pressure to succeed? The fear of failure?....the fear of succeeding? I guess it doesn't matter what slows you down, or what your scared of or even that your scared at all. You just need to just keep my head up and keep pushing forward,
after all this isn't even close to the end of the race, but maybe just another warm up lap before the real race begins.